The daunting task of presenting my thoughts to a divided world presses heavily upon the ethos of my mind. Maybe not at all worthy to be provided a platform of any sort, in the eyes of some, life's philosophies and sociologies screams, cries and shits itself out of me to a point where I no longer resist. I am intimidated. Me being fallible and human alone is enough to warrant this, but as I am Being And Becoming, I've always seen myself as a kid facing an unknown world.
However, "A Prisoner's Perspective" is my life's verbal expression as a Black man, in total - I have always been a prisoner. Born in Milwaukee, Wis. It becomes very predictable to dress up my background after you first read that I was : Exposed to sex at age eight; started selling drugs at eleven; first got a pistol and began driving at twelve; and, regrettably so, shot and murdered someone at age fourteen, which after battering a correctional officer in the juvenile facility, I was to do my time at, saw me get waived, at sixteen, and then became the youngest male in a maximum adult prison (G.B.C.I.). There I became embittered with hatred (taught this by inmate, guard, programs, and every other aspect of prison life) ready to trade my life in for a stereotypical glorified moment, i.e. drug dealer or ready to die in a hail of bullets, etc.
Went home and came back.....angrier...... Left and came back....angrier and Angrier!
If we are now openly acknowledging the historical, systemic and psychological effects of slavery/racism in this country, particularly toward Blacks; and we can also understand how prisons were historically used against Blacks immediately upon emancipation; the school-to-prison pipeline, and the disproportionate sentences handed out between Blacks and their racial opposites, then why are people so lax or put off when it comes to helping/supporting and reaching out to those behind bars? There was/are concentrated efforts to choke off and limit supply to inner cities by way of education, life and skill development, jobs, and equality in various other opportunities. There has been maintained efforts to substantiate a feeling of inferiority or just plain worthlessness in the mind of the Black man. Anywhere in the world where there is poverty there is an abuse of sex- teen pregnancy, drugs, liquor, and violence. Wonder why certain data is so predictable? Precipitated forecast.
In a book by Viktor Frankel called "Man's Search For Meaning" which he amazingly somehow wrote while himself (a Jew), was a prisoner at one of Hitler's concentration camps, but prior to held profession in the field of psychology, said, "An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is absolutely normal." So when human beings are placed under conditions not meant for any human being to live under then adverse reactions are not only normal but expected. I've seen people in solitary confinement kill themselves, scream and kick doors mindlessly, wipe blood and or shit on the walls and then lick it off. Food for thought.
So when determination turns to desperation and the very offshoot of Willie Lynch's theory is still being manifested toward modern day Black men, causing one to live out savage ways, why do we shun our darker skinned brothers, leaving them destitute of hope and companionship? If there has been mental health concerns over the three to four months of self-quarantining then just imagine yrs of it (in my case 16 yrs this time around)? Aren't we the same people who will one day inhabit your communities? (In my case a little over a year.) If we really aim to strengthen the bonds of our communities and prevent crime, and help to police our own neighborhoods, then shouldn't this be very important? Recidivism, to me, is high in large part because of a lack of support and understanding that, we too suffer from mental health issues as well. (Despite me presenting this as we having been victimized I am not shortsighted on how we as well victimize many more than just those our crimes were carried out against, i.e. neighborhoods, loved ones; specifically children we fathered, and so I comprehend the backlash but this is a perspective that needs to be taken in. Hurt people hurt people.)
It is not just criminal justice TV shows that give us real-life skewed perspectives, psychologically forming preconceived notions about Blacks, so that when we see them beaten, shot or having their rights violated we automatically side with the police. This is structured and reinforced throughout the fabric of society. I believe it's impossible for a conscientious Black man to be purely patriotic.
So how do we begin to have more intimate dealings between each other that are restorative and more connected than what just seems to be a semblance of concern? How can you reach out to people behind walls while life is moving at a snail's pace, as opposed to when they are released into a world that has passed them by countless times over and, because of the pace and unfamiliarity, life itself and the need to survive, along with them not having been properly provided work opportunities to stack up some funds by the D.O.C., scares them right back into what they once knew- Recidivism. Crime is an economy as well, and as stupid as it may seem many people need help for them to see it as wrong or that they can truly become a productive and meaningful member of society.
If one desires to communicate send your email address or write to:
Troney Cross #265514
Oakhill Correctional Institution
P. O. Box 938
Oregon , Wis. 53575
Meet Troney:
Birthplace: Milwaukee, Wis.
Height/weight: 6' 225lbs
Age: As old as the situation and as young as the reason :-)
Favorite pastime: N.B.A (Lebron = best ever)
Movies: Passion of the Christ, The Notebook, Avatar
Best attribute: I'm happy
Food: pizza
Religion: Christian
Dream date: Harriet Tubman (seriously), Khloe Kardashian
Favorite songs: How to love (Lil Wayne), No Fun Alone (Mali Music), Take My Breath Away (Berlin), Death Around The Corner (2pac)
Favorite Books: White Fragility (Robin Diangelo), A People's History of the United States (Howard Zinn), Shed So Many Tears (Roderick "Rudy" Bankston)
Game: Scrabble, Scrabble, and Scrabble.
And you can watch a speech from Troney here
